He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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