i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
