I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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