when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
