y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They took my balls.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
