You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
