Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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