you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
