Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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