So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
