I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
