u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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