And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
