I'm really into asian looking animals
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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