If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
