wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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