she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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