walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
