that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
