I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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