Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
