..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
