____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
