Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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