So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
