Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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