i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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