so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
