I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
