So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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