Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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