You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
