You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
