I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
