Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
