We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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