idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
