So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
