Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
