guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My ass is underappreciated
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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