I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Girls should come with a carfax report
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
