What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
