what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
