Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
pray to the hookup gods
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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