Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
