CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
