5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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