so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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