I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
