i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
