You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
